To Lose
by SunMoonAndSpoon
Summary: Ryuzaki accidentally kills Haga's girlfriend! Naturally, Haga is angry and miserable, and wants nothing more to do with Ryuzaki. But Ryuzaki loves Haga! Oh the angstyness! Anyways, One-sided Ryuzaki/Haga (Rex/Weevil) Please R&R!


?Rei: Hey hi! This is just a little idea I came up with in the bath. I like the idea; I hope the fic turns out all right.

Declaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or any of the characters. I own any characters in this that do not belong to the show. (Ritsuko, Yutaro…)

Warnings: This contains Ryuzaki/Haga pairing…also Haga hating Ryuzaki _a lot_, and Ryuzaki accidentally killing someone. And Honda/Jounouchi pairing. If you don't like, don't read. I hope you do read though. Also, I don't think the Ritsuko thing is Mary-Sueing, cos for one thing, if I can make it make any sense at all this will end in Ryuzaki/Haga. Also the girl basically has no purpose except to stir up angst. I'd use someone from the show if I could but no one makes sense!!!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

_            It's strange, the way death works. Used to be, just thinking about her made me happy. Now it just makes me cry. Ritsuko was the only good thing left in my life and then she had to die, and its all _HIS _fault. _HE_ did this to her…he did this to me…_

"Haga? Come on now, you should get up. Come on. Up!" The monster said. "Up!"

            Haga didn't even look up. He could tell by the voice that it was the monster. "Go away." He muttered into his pillow. "You're not wanted."

            "I know that." The monster said calmly. "And I don't care. You need to get up now. Eat something."

            "EAT?" He screeched, and the monster recoiled. He had the _worst _scream. "You expect to _eat _after whats happened? I can't believe I'm still even living. Most of all I can't believe I haven't killed you after what you've done!" 

            "How many times do I have to tell you?" Said the monster, who's voice was beginning to choke. "I didn't mean to. Why would I do something that would hurt you so bad when I love you so much?"

            "Excuse me…what?" Haga sat up and pushed his glasses up from his nose. "You _what_?"

            "I love you. I told you…you were pretending to be asleep but I'm sure you heard me…"

            "I wasn't pretending. I don't believe this. _You _love _me_? And you dare _tell _me this after you killed the one _I _love? You murdered Ritsuko, Ryuzaki. I can't ever forgive you for that."

            Ryuzaki was silent for a while. Then he nodded, and changed the subject. "Yugi Moto and his friends should be here shortly. You have a duel scheduled, remember? Should I send them away?" 

            Haga nodded miserably. "Yeah…I can't duel. Not now. Probably not ever again."

            "I want you to get out of bed. Go out and do something. You're going to have to go home eventually, anyway. We can't afford to stay in this motel for much longer."            

            "You could go."

            "I'm not going to leave you."

            "Why not? I don't want you around, so why don't you just leave?"

            "You need someone to take care of you, because you're obviously not doing it yourself."

            "I don't need _you_." Haga spat out the last word like it was poison.

            "You know what, Haga? I'm sorry to have to say this, but you do."

            Yugi was having a good day. He was going to finally have an honest duel with Haga, the bug guy. The last time he'd seen him had been years ago, and the guy had cheated. Yugi supposed he felt guilty about it now and wanted to try again. He was all for it. Second chances were what life is all about. 

            Right now, he would have to give the idiot lovebirds he called friends another chance _not _to annoy him for once. He glanced over at them. Jounouchi was trying to put his hand down Honda's pants, _again_. This time, Honda didn't seem to mind. God. The things he put up with. 

            "You like that Honda?" Jounouchi asked. "You _like _it?"

            Honda smiled and nodded.

            Yugi laughed. These guys were kind of funny. Ah well. No matter what, they were his friends. 

            They were nearly at the Sun Motel. Yugi wasn't absolutely positive that it was the right one, but they were in a motel district so they'd soon find it if they were wrong. 

            They reached the door. "Yugi?" Anzu asked.

            "Yeah?"

            "I can't stick around too long you know. I've got to get home to Yutaro."

            "Oh, its all right." Yugi smiled. "How is he, by the way?"

            "He's doing great. He's learning to talk now."

            "That's awesome! What can he say?"

            "Lets see…he can say mama…" She beamed. "He can't say dada because that's just never came up. He can say milk, kitty, grandma, ball, yummy, I love you, and all these other cute things and he's just so _cute_!"

            "Wow. That's great Anzu. Are you planning on having other children after Yutaro?"

            "Well, I'd have to _find _someone first, so I guess not. I'm not even positive who Yu's daddy is." 

            "Your not? Well how many choices do you have? You were with that Tetsuya guy right?"

            Anzu looked at her feet, her expression darkening.

            "There was someone else?"

            "Yup…" Tears of shame welled up in her eyes. "Tasuke Ibehara and Kouji Sakamoto too…"

            "Oh my god…well…I didn't know you were _that _popular with the guys. I mean I knew guys liked you…you do have awfully big breasts you know…wait no sorry, didn't mean that Anzu! Don't kill me!"

            "Its okay. And anyway, I don't really need to know. I'm twenty years old now, and my moms helping me out, so I'm okay. And I love Yutaro."  

            "Hey hurry it up!" Honda yelled. "You guys haven't even gone in yet! We're gonna be late!"

            "Oh yeah!" They ran in after their friends. 

            "Hey!" The receptionist yelled. "You can't just run in here! Where are you going?"

            Yugi skidded back to the desk. "Eh heh, sorry, we're kind of in a hurry. We were supposed to meet this guy, Haga something or another, in one of the rooms here. Not sure which. It should be on the ledger."

            "Let me look." She thumbed through the ledger pages with her matronly hand. "Nope, theres no Haga anything here. Maybe you've got the wrong motel. Or the wrong name or something…"

            Jounouchi grabbed the book. "Lemme see. You prob'ly missed it." He started looked through. "Helga Schwartzenburger…Kosuke Maehara, Atsuko Sen, Kylie Anderson, Michiko Ayanami, Ryoko Naga, Tohru Tanizaki…Ryuzaki …wait a minute! Ryuzaki? He's here?"

            "Maybe he knows where Haga is." Yugi suggested.

            "I believe he came in with someone else. He was the one paying for it though."

            "Umm…was it a girl?" Yugi asked, chuckling to himself. He knew what _this _meant…

            "I don't see how that's your business, but I believe it was a man. And they came in last week so, I don't think its what you're thinking of."

            "Oh. I see. Can we find out what room they're in?"

            "Ryuzaki-san called a few days ago and said his guest would be in room A-342 at this time, and if a Mr. Yugi Moto and his friends showed up they should report there. Is that you?"

            "Yeah. I'm Yugi Moto, and these are my friends."

            "Right. Please tell those two to stop feeling each other up in the lobby, and go to A-342."

            "Okay. Thanks."

            They walked through the hall until they came to A-342. "Well this is it." Jounouchi said. "Good luck, Yug."

            "Yeah, good luck." Honda agreed. "We'll be watching."

            "I'm leaving about half-way in." Said Anzu. "But, good luck."

            In they went. Yugi was looking forward to this.

            Haga was not in the room, but Ryuzaki was. He was sitting on the window seat. He seemed to be deep in thought. He was wearing a suit but his hair was still as long and wild as ever, and he still had that ridiculous hat.

            "Ryuzaki?" Yugi asked. "Hello?"

            "Oh!" Ryuzaki turned around. "I'm sorry. I forgot you were coming."

            "Then why were you in here?" Jounouchi said sarcastically. "And wheres Haga? Yugi's supposed to duel him, not you."

            "Haga will not be dueling today."

            "Why not?" Yugi asked. "What did we come all this way for then?"

            "I'm sorry. I couldn't contact you in time to let you know. Haga isn't feeling very well, so I'm sorry but there is no duel."

            "Are you sure? I was really looking forward to this, and it cost a lot of get here…"

            "Yes. Once again I'm sorry, but there will be no negotiations."

            "Is he really sick?" Yugi worried.

            "It's none of your business."

            "I don't think he's sick at all." Jounouchi smirked. "He's probably just making up some crap story so he doesn't have to face Yugi."

            "Yeah." Honda agreed. "I mean, how's he gonna win with those stupid bug things? They all suck!"

            "Listen!" Ryuzaki yelled. "Shut up now! None of you know what you're talking about! Something terrible has happened. You have no idea, so just go home!" With that, he turned around, pointedly looking at the window and not at the other people in the room.

            "Maybe we should just go." Anzu said. "It's better if I get home when Yutaro is asleep anyway."

            Yugi paid no attention to her. "What happened?" He asked.

            "It isn't important."

            "Yes it is, I can tell." He walked over to Ryuzaki and put his hand on his shoulder. "Whats wrong?"           

            "Yugi." Ryuzaki snarled. "Get off. Now."

            "S-sorry." He took his hand away."

            "You know what? You're all just as dumb as you were before. You always have to meddle in everything, and you're still ugly and short Yugi! Now go away! Haga is in no condition to duel, and that's why you came, so go."

            "All right then. I'm sorry, I just wanted to help."

            "We don't need your help." Ryuzaki muttered.

            "Man, was that weird or what?" Honda said angrily. "Ryuzaki is really a bitch, right?"

            "He seemed pretty upset about something." Yugi mused. "I wonder what though."

            "He's probably telling the truth. Haga's sick and Ryuzaki is worried about him." Anzu said absently.

            "But why would he care that much?"

            "That's none of our business."

            "I know. I just can't help worrying. He was acting really weird. And I really wanted to duel Haga!" Yugi stamped his foot. "I haven't dueled anyone but Jounouchi for four years and its getting annoying."

            "It doesn't matter. You'll find someone else to duel. Lets get a train home."

            "But the tickets are for 8:00. Its only 4:00 now. We've got some time to kill."

            "Then go look for someone else. But we should leave them alone."

            "I don't like it when you make sense." Jounouchi sighed. "Its weird. And Yugi, whats wrong with dueling me?" The realization that he'd been insulted suddenly entered his mind.

            "Um…eh heh…nothing!" Yugi grinned. "I'm going to go find someone to duel. You and Honda have sex or something okay? Byeee!"

            Honda grabbed Jounouchi's arm. "Lets do what Yugi says, shall we? I've got enough money to rent a room in the motel…"

            "Lets go!" Jounouchi yelled happily. "Yay, yay, yay!"

            Anzu blinked. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt that excited about anyone. Not since Yutaro was born, that was for sure.

            She supposed she'd go buy some more diapers and baby food for him. She was running low on supplies.

            "Hi sweetie!" I kissed her and smiled. "How are you?" 

                _"I'm doing okay." Ritsuko said in her beautiful voice. "You?"_

_            "Great, just great. I'm so happy to see you."_

_            "I'm happy to see you too."         _

_            My god, she was gorgeous. I don't know why she chose to be with me. She could have had anyone in the world, because she's so wonderful, but she picked me. That made me feel so special._

_            "I have a surprise for you!" I said, fingering the ring in my pocket. "You'll like it, I promise."_

_            "Oh yay!" She clapped her hands. "I love surprises. Hey, is this some special day I forgot? Oh man…its not our anniversary is it?" We weren't married but we still celebrated anniversaries. I hoped we soon would be, though._

_            "No, its not. Don't worry." I took her hand. "Come on, I wanna take you somewhere."_

_            "I have work today Haga, I can't. I was on my way out…"_

_            "Call in sick, this is important."_

_            "I like to save those days for when I really _am _sick."_

            "Please? C'mon, I promise you'll love the surprise as much as I love you!" Oh how I hoped! 

            She smiled. "Okay, fine. But this better be good!" 

            Ritsuko…

            Ryuzaki walked in. Go away… "Haga? How're you doing?"

            He didn't answer. The evil monster didn't deserve a response. "Haga?" He said a little louder, putting his hand on Haga's back. "Please…don't do this."

            "…" 

            "Come on now, don't be so difficult. I'm going to go out and get some food. What do you want?"

            "…"

            "If you're not going to answer, I'll just get you what I'm getting. And you're going to eat it. You've lost too much weight already. You'll make yourself sick."

            "…"

            "Please…Haga…talk to me…"

            "…"

            "Okay then, I'm going now. I'll be back. I know you hid my key by the way. It's not going to help. I can just ask the receptionist for a new one."

            "…"

            "I love you."

            "Shut up."

            "Hon-Da, my love how do I look?" Jounouchi stepped out of the bathroom, totally naked.

            Honda gasped. "I don't know how someone as wonderful as you exists in this shitty world."

            "Awww you're so sweet!" Jounouchi went over and sat in his lap. "Now you strip! I wanna see my Honda-kun naked!"

            "Umm…I…uh…"      

            "C'mon baby…I'll help." Jounouchi started unbuttoning his beloved's shirt. "See? Its not so hard."

            "Uh…you…ummm…I…."

            "That's right baby…" Jounouchi threw off Honda's white shirt and began kissing him, and moving his hands downwards at the same time.

            "Ahhhh…gaaa…" Honda had gone to heaven, but he was still alive. 

            __

            Yugi walked down the street and saw someone who looked like she played Duel Monsters. "Hey! You!" He yelled. The girl turned around. 

            "Yeah, whats up?" She asked, lowering her sunglasses. Her hand was on her hip, making her look confidant.

            "Do you play Duel Monsters?" Yugi asked, widening his eyes. He hoped they looked swimming with anticipation, but you could never tell with these things. He probably looked cross-eyed or something.

            "I've heard of it." She said. "My stupid dorky cousin really likes the game…I think it's for losers though. Why do you ask?"

            "Oh, never mind…" Yugi said, and walked away. "Damn…" 

            _God, why am I so obsessed? _He thought. _I need to get a life. But…I can't stop until I duel just one more person. And I can't duel anyone new, or that'll just add to it. I have to finish something old. I have to duel Haga again._

            Ryuzaki walked out of the Burger Hut, clutching the food towards him, holding it like a baby. He walked quickly, wanting to get back to his love. Ryuzaki knew better then to hope for forgiveness, but he had to try anyway. He wished Haga wouldn't hate him, but what could he do? He deserved it, he knew he did, but still, Haga was being unfair. He'd done so much for him in the past week. 

            He was in no way doing it for gratitude. He knew that wasn't going to come. He was doing it because he loved Haga, and he didn't want the one he loved to fall apart from the loss. And if he did, Ryuzaki would be there to pick up the pieces.

            _"Come on, hurry up." I grabbed her hand again, tugging at her arm. _

_            "Sorry." Ritsuko smiled. "What are you so excited about anyway? I've never seen you like this."_

_            "Really?" I asked. To me it felt like one continuous happy moment since I'd met her. A couple things went wrong, sure, but I didn't care because I always had Ritsuko to fall back on. _

_             "Yeah. What happened to make you so happy?"_

_            "Oh nothing. I just love you soooo much!"_

_            "I love you too, baby." She squeezed my hand. _

_            "I would kiss you _so _much right now, but I want to get to the park quickly."_

_            "Oh c'mon!" She mewed. "Pwease?" She leaned towards my face. "I'm beautiful, right? You love me right?"_

_            "Of course."_

_            "Then kiss me! Or let me kiss you…"_

            "Later, okay?" If all went well, I figured there'd be a lot more then kissing later on. I should've taken that kiss when I could. It would've been our last one.

            "Fine…" She looked at her shoes. Oh no, she probably thought I was so happy because I'd found someone even better then her. Not that that's possible but…oh well I would prove her wrong later. 

            "Ritsu, Ritsu, come here." I put my arms around her. "I love you so much, but we don't have time now. I have a really big surprise and I'm just so excited to give it to you."

            She hugged back, and pressed her face against my shoulder. "Okay, but this better be good."

            I let go. "Heres the street. Ladies first." 

            She flashed me a sunny grin, and stepped into the street.

            And that's when it happened. 

            The evil blue death-car came speeding down the street, plowing into Ritsuko. She went limp and crumpled to the ground. 

              I stood on the curb for a few seconds, stunned. She had to be okay, she was okay, because I love her and I couldn't stand to lose her. "Ritsuko!" I ran towards her. "Ritsu, sweetie, are you okay?"

              There was blood everywhere. She'd been hit hard. "Ha…ga…" She gasped. "I…love…you…I…" Then she spoke no more. I grabbed her shoulders and shook her. 

              "RITSUKO!!! Say something, Ritsuko, please! Ritsuko, please I love you so much! RITSUKO!! Oh no…noooo…Ritsuko…" I knew she was dead and I started to cry. My tears mixed with her blood and I held her beautiful body. 

            The driver of the evil blue car stepped out. "Oh dear God, she's dead isn't she?"

            "Yes." I did not look at the driver. I didn't want to know who it was. 

_            But he bent down and looked at me. "Haga?"_

_            "How do you know my name?" I growled. _

_            "Look at me." He said, touching my face. _

_            I obeyed. It was Ryuzaki. "What are you doing here?!" I shouted, suddenly angry. Now that this murderer had a face I wanted to kill him. I started to stand up but Ritsuko was in my lap, and I didn't want to move her so I stayed put. _

_            "You should get out of the street. The same thing might happen to you." Ryuzaki said, kindly. _

_            "Is that a threat?" I spat. "What, are you going to kill me too?" _

_            "Of course not. Come on, I'll help you move her. Then we need to call an ambulance." _

_            "Whats the point? She's dead already."_

_            "Do you want to take the chance that she's alive and not help her?"_

_            "No…" I hadn't even considered the possibility, and now a new hope lit up. "Lets get her out of the street fast!" I picked up her arms, and Ryuzaki grabbed her legs, and we brought her towards a nearby bench. _

            "Do you have a phone?" Ryuzaki asked.             "No. Do you?" I said bitterly. 

_            "Yeah. I'll call, okay?" Ryuzaki punched in the numbers. _

_            "Fine. You do that."_

"Oh God…Ryuzaki don't come back…_please _don't come back." Haga muttered into the pillow. Then, out of nowhere he started to cry. "Come back…I'm need someone now…I don't even care _who _it is…"

            "Hi Anzu." Yugi said. "I couldn't find anyone do duel."

            "Oh!" Anzu turned around. "Hi! I wasn't expecting you. Hey, which little bootie things do you think would look better on Yutaro, these blue ones or these black ones?"

"The blue ones. Hey where are Honda and Jounouchi?"

"Probably doing what you told them to." Anzu smirked.

At that moment, Jounouchi walked in. "Thought we'd find you here! Seeing as Anzu here is so obsessed with babies."  

"I'm _not _obsessed." Anzu growled. "Okay, I am. Wheres Honda?"  
            "He'll be here in a minute, He had to stop at the bathroom." 

"Okay. Listen, its about 6:00 now, so we've still got some time to kill."  
            "I'm going to go ask Haga to duel again." Yugi said with certainty. "I know he'll say yes, if he sees how important it is."

            "Its not really that important." Anzu said airily. "You're just obsessed. Besides, Ryuzaki said he's sick. That wont have changed in 2 hours."

            "But it's important to _me_…" Yugi whined. "And it should be to him to…I mean wouldn't he want to do it honestly this time?"

            "Maybe, but you saw how Ryuzaki reacted. Even if he _did _want to, I doubt Ryuzaki would let him."

            "Since when is it his business?"

            "Since when is it _our _business? Yugi, just leave it alone." Anzu touched his arm. "When we get home, there will be plenty of people you can duel."

            "No one likes it anymore." He said that, but he felt like no one liked _him _anymore.

            "Well I think you should give it a shot." Jounouchi said. "Even if it _doesn't _work, it'll be fun to see Ryuzaki get pissed off." 

            At that moment, a very distraught looking Honda ran in. "Guys? I have something to tell you…I'm…I'm…I'm pregnant."

            "WHAT?" Yelled Jounouchi. "Oh noooo! I'm to young to be a dad!"

            Anzu took them into the corner and calmly explained that, no; Honda was not pregnant, as that was not physically possible. 

_            By the time the ambulance arrived I was sobbing uncontrollably. I didn't want to…it was humiliating, with Ryuzaki standing right beside me. He had made attempts to comfort me before, but I hit him. He didn't say anything after that, just looked at me. He didn't seem to be paying any attention to the corpse lying on the bench. I was completely focused on her. How could she be dead? I love her…but my love was evidentially not enough to tie her to this world. Ryuzaki and his stupid car could kill her all the same._

_            The ambulance arrived and took Ritsuko away. I went into the ambulance with her, and Ryuzaki followed._

_            "Get out," I snarled, wiping away my tears. "What makes you think you have a right to be here?" _

_            "This is my fault." Ryuzaki breathed. "I'm a murderer, and I have to own up to it."_

_            "Just go away. Go rot in hell or something."_

_            "I'm just really glad…" He said as the ambulance took off, "That it was her I hit instead of you."_

_            I stared at him. What. Had. He. Just. Said? "I'm going to kill you!" I screamed, and lunged at him. _

_            "Haga!" He pinned me to his chest. I couldn't get away. He's so much stronger then me. "Calm down. It's okay."_

_            I hit him in the eye with my elbow. "How can you _say _that?!? You _wanted _to kill her!? I HATE YOU! Oh god…how _could _you…?"_

            "I didn't want to kill her!" He shouted. "I never wanted to hurt anyone, Haga, least of all you. And I've hurt you a lot, I can see that. All I'm saying is, I'm just happy I didn't hit you too." 

                _"I almost wish you had. Theres no reason for me to live anymore."_

_            "Yes there is!" Ryuzaki said, in a strange, breathless voice. "I know you love your girlfriend there, but you had a life before her, didn't you?"_

_            "Yeah, but it was meaningless. Just stupid cards and school and things."_

_            "I was in your life…" He whispered. I pretended not to hear him. _

_            We were silent for a bit, and the ambulance came to a stop.  The driver unloaded Ritsuko, and we climbed out of the back._

_            I have killed a person… _Ryuzaki thought. _I have actually taken a life._

            Somehow he hadn't thought about it before. All he'd thought of was Haga, and what he'd done to him. But what about Ritsuko? She was dead now, because he hadn't been paying attention to the road. He'd been distracted, but that was no excuse. He had been thinking about his ex-wife. 

            Mayumi had been her name. She was beautiful, but she was also quite selfish. She didn't mean to be, of course, but she was so used to having her way, that she never considered what others might want. That had led to problems between the two of them. There had been problems anyway, but the way Mayumi reacted to them had been too much for Ryuzaki to handle. Add the fact that one of their children had basically gone insane, (She was a schizophrenic) and that Ryuzaki didn't really love his wife anyway, the whole thing had gone to hell.

            So they split ways. Mayumi insisted that he did not ever contact her their children, not even to pay for the asylum where Ameko lived. So he was off the hook for child support, but he missed them. Not Mayumi. 

He didn't miss her, because he'd never loved her at all. But when he met her…she seemed his only hope. Even at that time, he had loved Haga, but he knew he had no chance; he'd only been ten years old. He knew the kid through dueling tournaments, and he had loved him since he first saw him. But he would not try, not with a child.

So he had taken a date with Mayumi, who was actually Haga's fifth grade teacher. Ryuzaki had taken to hanging around the school gates, waiting to catch a glimpse of his love. Mayumi was often there to, taking a cigarette break. 

Eventually, they'd married, even though he hadn't wanted to. They had children, the oldest of which was an emotional wreck, sad and deranged. Luckily their son, Taiki, was not showing the same traits. 

Then came the divorce. By that time, Haga was eighteen years old, old enough so that Ryuzaki could at least _try_. But he felt guilty about it, he was still much younger then him, and besides, he worried that it would disturb his daughter even more to know of this. 

Then, Haga met Ritsuko. All hope faded away, but Ryuzaki still followed him around. They were friends on occasion, but at other times, Haga would stop talking to him all together. Ryuzaki didn't know why, and didn't really want to know.

He'd been thinking about Mayumi and his kids when he plowed into Ritsuko. He wondered if Mayumi had found someone who appreciated her. He wondered how Taiki was doing in first grade, and how Ameko was doing…if she was even close to being happy and sane. 

Then he heard a horrible sound. An evil, crunching sound, and he knew what had happened. He got out of the car, and saw the full extent of what he'd done. 

            Ryuzaki and I had been sitting in the waiting room for the last hour or so. I looked at him, and I could see how miserable he was, but I didn't care. He didn't deserve pity. Maybe he felt guilty, but that didn't change anything. Sorry Ryu, but you cant do a thing. 

_            The doctor called us in. "Were you two with Ritsuko Kiichi?"_

_             I nodded steadily. Please…please…let her be okay…just say my darling is okay…_

_            "I'm very sorry to have to tell you this, but she did not make it. She's dead."_

_            "No, no, that's not true." I said, my voice rising. "She's not dead! This is just some stupid joke…she's alive, I know she is!" I shoved past him, towards my Ritsuko. I knew she was dead, I'd already figured that out, but I needed to believe she wasn't. _

_            "Sir, please come back!" The meek doctor yelled, but I paid him no mind. Ryuzaki pushed past him too, following me. I didn't care._

_            "Ritsuko!" I yelled, running into the emergency room. People looked at me like I was crazy, but I still didn't care. "Ritsuko!" I saw the body shaped lump that was Ritsuko, under a sheet, lying on the pallet. I knew it was her, I knew the exact shape of her body. I lifted the sheet and I was right, it was her. "C'mon sweetie, get up now. Wake up." I shook her gently. "Ritsuko? Come on. Get up."_

_            Ryuzaki walked in, and put his hand on my shoulder. "She's dead. Look at that life-support machine. Nothing."_

_            "It must be broken."_

_            "I'm sorry." He said gently. "You've got to accept this. I know you love her, but she's dead, okay? She's dead, and she's not coming back."_

_            "Your right, she is dead. And it's all your fault."_

_            Ryuzaki sighed, and flopped into a nearby plastic chair. He buried his hands in his face. "I know. I'm so sorry."_

"Haga-kun?" Ryuzaki called. "I'm back."

            "…" Haga did not respond. 

            "Haga, don't start this again. I'm having a hard time with this too, you know…" Ryuzaki said, sounding defeated.

            "…"

            "Oh never mind. I've brought food. Here." He took out his purchases, two cheeseburgers, a mass of French fries, and a liter of soda. He got it all in plates and cups, and then gave Haga his share. 

            "I'm not hungry." Haga sighed.     

            "I know. But you've got to eat anyway." 

            "Why? Whats the point."

            "Ritsuko wouldn't want you to do this." Ryuzaki hadn't wanted to say this, but Haga hadn't eaten at all since it happened, and had barely had any water. If he kept this up he'd do some serious damage, and this might get him to eat.

            "Ritsuko…" Haga said, measuring his voice, trying to hide the new tears behind it. "Would want me dead so I could be with her."

            "Are you crazy?" Ryuzaki said with disgust. "She must've really hated you if that's what she wanted. If she really loved you, she would want you to be alive and happy."

                "If she loved me she wouldn't want me to suffer like this!" Haga screamed. "She wouldn't want me to miss her this much, but I do, so the best thing I can do is die!"

            "No, no, that's not true. You're seeing it all wrong. You're right she would not want you to feel all this pain. Eventually you will move on, and that's what she wants. But if you starve yourself to death like you're doing now, you'll never have a chance to get over it."

            "How can I get over it? You expect me to just forget her? I can't do that! That's insane, I can never forget…I'm going to feel this forever."

            "I'm not saying you should forget, all I'm saying is pain fades with time. But that's not going to happen if you don't do the necessary things to keep yourself alive. You need to eat, Haga."

            "Okay, fine…I will…if it'll get you to shut up." Haga slowly rose up from the bed, and moved towards the food. He began to eat.

            Ryuzaki sighed in relief. "Thank you. You don't know how good that makes me feel."

            "Whatever."

            They ate in silence for a bit, but both were thinking. Haga was thinking about how miserable he was, and how much he missed Ritsuko. Ryuzaki was thinking about the whole situation to. It occurred to him that he might have to face some other consequences of this. He had killed a person; he might have to go to jail. That was part of the reason they were in the motel, Ryuzaki wanted to be away from the place it had happened, away from anyone who might know what he'd done. Haga knew, but that didn't count. 

            The other reason was for Haga. Ryuzaki knew that he would not be able to face what had happened, and this was a place away. They were both away. Eventually, they had to leave, but neither wanted to. Ryuzaki occasionally mentioned leaving, but he never really meant it.

            But someday they would have to.

            By this point, Anzu had bought a new ticket to get home. She didn't care how expensive it was, she'd just use her credit card and pay later. She was late already, and Yutaro was waiting. The other three were arriving at Sun Motel.

"Here we are!" Yugi said, his voice filled with happiness. "I'm gonna duel Haga! Yay!"

            Jounouchi looked at him cynically.

            "I will. I know he's going to say yes. He has to." They walked over to the receptionist. "Hi! We're back! Remember us? We want to go up to Ryuzaki-san's room." 

            "Fine." The woman was not in the mood to argue. She really didn't care what they did. "Room B-624."

            "Right, okay."

            "Wonder what happened to her?" Honda muttered.

            "Dunno." They walked up the stairs and down the hall. Eventually, they came to their destination. Yugi pounded his fists against the door. A chip of tan paint fluttered to the ground, as it was flaking off anyway.

            The door was opened. Ryuzaki quickly tried to slam the door, but they pushed right in. "I want to talk to Haga." Yugi said.

            "Yeah, he wants to duel him." Jounouchi said, not really paying much attention to the situation but instead staring at Honda.

            "No." Ryuzaki said. "I told you already, the duel is canceled. 

            "But that's not fair!" Yugi whined, sounding like a child.

            "Fair or not, Haga's sick and cant duel." Ryuzaki said gruffly, using the same excuse as he had before. 

            "Who cares?" Honda said. "It's just a card game, he should be able to do it."

            "And you thee should be able to go away."

            "Hey!" Yugi squeaked, peering into the motel room. "If he's so sick, whats he doing out of bed?" He was looking at Haga, who was sitting on the floor, staring at a cheeseburger with one bite taken out of it. 

            "I got him up to eat." Ryuzaki growled. "Is that so wrong?"  
            "You know, I don't really believe this whole story." Yugi mused. "Like Jounouchi said before, I think he's just afraid."  
            "THE BOTH OF US HAVE MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DEAL WITH THEN YOU AND YOUR STUPID CARDS, YUGI!!!!" Ryuzaki roared. "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHETHER I'M TELLING THE TRUTH OR NOT, ALL THAT MATTERS IS THAT HAGA IS NOT GOING TO DUEL YOU, AND YOU ARE GOING TO LEAVE BEFORE I DO SOMETHING WE WILL BOTH REGRET!" 

            "Um…okay, but…can I talk to Haga about that? Maybe he—" Yugi got no farther, as Ryuzaki had just punched him hard enough to knock him over.

            "YOU WANT MORE OF THAT? KEEP TRYING, THEN! KEEP COMING BACK HERE AND ANNOYING US AND YOU'LL KEEP GETTING HURT! I LOVE HAGA, AND I'LL DO ANYTHING I CAN TO KEEP HIM HAPPY! HE CAN'T DEAL WITH YOU NOW, SO GO AWAY, YOU VERMIN!"

            "Ohhh…owww…" Yugi moaned in pain. He'd been punched in the stomach, and was having a hard time getting up. He vomited suddenly, from the impact. 

            "God, how pathetic." Ryuzaki muttered. "I barely hit you at all. Anyway, you two. You stupid guys. Take your friend out of here." 

            Honda and Jounouchi didn't much appreciate this new title, but they didn't really want to face Ryuzaki's wrath, so Honda lifted Yugi on his back, and they ran away.

            Ryuzaki closed the door. He hadn't wanted to do that, but they just wouldn't go away! That Yugi was like a cockroach or something, always there and unwanted. He was worried he might've hurt him a little too badly. Ah well, he'd call him later to see how he was doing. He had more important things to attend to now.

            Haga stood up. "Ryuzaki?"

            "Yes?" Ryuzaki looked at him, worriedly.

            "I…I think I need to leave now. Goodbye." He lurched past Ryuzaki, and went out the door. 

            "Haga, wait! Where are you going? I don't understand…Haga!" Ryuzaki yelled, but to no avail. Haga was already gone.    

            "Haga…" Ryuzaki whimpered, as he sank to the floor. "Please…come back…"

            Haga barely understood himself why he'd left. He just knew that he couldn't stay with Ryuzaki anymore. Not after that, not after watching him hurt someone for his sake. It had finally hit him how much Ryuzaki really cared about him. And he couldn't take that. No. Because then he might start to forgive him. And that would be betraying Ritsuko, which was something he could never do. 

            And so he'd had to leave. Other then that, he wasn't too sure what he was doing. Just that whatever it was, Ryuzaki would not be involved. 

            He suddenly realized that he had no money whatsoever. He had no way to leave. Ryuzaki could still find him. He could walk somewhere, but he didn't know the area, he would be lost within minutes. 

            He decided, despite that, it was his best plan. He had nowhere to go anyway. There were people who would help him, but no one he was willing to face.

            Ryuzaki ran out of the motel, in the direction he thought Haga had gone. He had picked the right direction, because he saw Haga plodding slowly away.

            "Haga!" He yelled, and ran up to him. "Haga what are you doing? I mean, yeah its great, your getting out, but where are you going? You had me really worried, you know that?"

            "It doesn't matter much." Haga said. "I'm just…leaving. Don't follow me."

            "Why? Whats going on? Did one of those weirdos say something to upset you? Because if they did…" Ryuzaki stammered, flailing for words.

            "I said it doesn't matter. Listen to me, okay? I'm just leaving. It has nothing to do with them. I'm just going."

            "But…no, you cant, Haga, no! If your going to be behaving like you've been lately, you'll never make it alone! You need me, you know you do…Haga…"__

            "I don't need you. The only person I need is Ritsuko, and I can't have her so I'm just going to have to rely on myself."

            "Okay but…where are you going?"

            "I don't know."

            "Are you going to go back to your mother or something?"

            "No. She wouldn't like it." Haga smiled grimly. "You have no idea how happy she was to get rid of me. So no. I'm not going there."

            "Then where?"

            "I'll figure something out. Why don't you go back?"

            "To the motel?"

            "There. Home. Wherever you want. I don't care, Ryuzaki. I never want to see you again, is that clear?"

            "Not really…I…I thought that…I know your mad at me but…"

            "Please. Just go."

            "Okay…okay…just…just let me give you some money." Ryuzaki produced his wallet. "Here." He took out a few hundred dollars, money from his last paycheck. Haga would need it more then he did. He knew Haga didn't have any money, and probably would not return to his job to get any.

            Haga took it, though he did not want to. But he took it anyway, because he knew he would need it. He did not thank him.

            "Will that be enough for you? I've got some more…I do need it for the motel bill and things, but I'll get paid again. I can take care of that later."

            "No, thank you."

            "Are you sure?"

            "Yeah. Goodbye now." He turned and walked away, making sure Ryuzaki couldn't see his face. He was crying again, and he didn't want him to see.

            Ryuzaki stared at Haga, openly weeping. _How did this all go so wrong? All I ever wanted to do was make him happy… _He thought, but didn't let himself lament on it for too long. If he did, he would never be able to _stop _crying. Haga was gone. He was walking away from him, refusing to have anything to do with him anymore. 

            Ryuzaki walked back to the motel, to get his things and go. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Rei: And, its finished! I really hope you liked it! Please review if you've just read! Anyways, so bon voyage for now! Sorry for those of you who were expecting them to get together, but I couldn't make it work.

Also, sorry if you're mad at me for making Yugi and all those other people a wee bit idiotic. I needed Yugi to be annoying, and Jounouchi and Honda were my comic relief! ^_^  Kay, well, tata, and have a nice day!__


End file.
